Hitting Rock Bottom and Climbing Back Out

Here is another good confession that I think many of you may relate to: I haven't practiced in two weeks and finally hit rock bottom yesterday. But the great thing is that I figured out how to climb out of the dark depressing hole.

About two weeks ago something strange started to happen. I had been practicing pretty regularly on some new and some old songs. One of the new songs I was in love with since I was a teenager. I thought I was ready to learn it finally and set a goal and practice plan. However, after a couple of weeks I had not gotten past the first page and had begun to dread the practice time dedicated to this song. Soon, I started even to dread the whole practice session, even with songs I already knew. My fingers were just not moving correctly, I knew I was doing something very wrong because I started to experience pain and stiffness.  At about the same time I was also working on the computer a lot more and my pinky started to hurt from guiding the mouse.  Somehow I started to make the connection between using the computer and the inability to play (wrong reason by the way).  As the days went by, I kept finding excuses to shorten my sessions and finally I stopped all together. Every time I passed the piano I felt a pang of guilt and that same hurt  you feel when you ignore a loved one because it is too difficult to deal with them.

As the days went by I felt my hands stiffen, even with regular activities. My fingers weren't being used and stretched as they were accustomed to and my hands started to feel alien to me. At the same time I started becoming a little more depressed with no explanation. Nothing had changed in my life to warrant it.  I even started to dread my piano lessons because I knew that with stiff fingers I couldn't perform well for my own students, thus embarrassing myself.  How could I be a good role model when I didn't follow my own advice?

This past weekend I tried to reconnect with the piano, but it just wasn't happening. I just felt like we weren't friends anymore. Then yesterday I really felt like I hit rock bottom because I lost inspiration for all other activities and ended the night drinking some Sauvignon Blanc and watching "In the Bedroom", a very emotional movie, half of which I cried through and felt all my feelings.  Finally when the movie was done and my face was swollen and red from crying, I got it.

I realized what had happened. I was not ready for that song but I didn't want to admit it to myself. I subconsciously knew that I would get nowhere for a long time, especially without any help from former piano teachers. I just had to put it away and it was ok to do that. There are a million other songs I can work on and build myself up to this one. It just wasn't time and by rushing myself into something I wasn't ready for, I had sabotaged everything else I was working for. 

So if you ever feel this happening to you, you know what to do now...

Practice, Not Genius

Here is just another article about the fact that the latest research shows that it is practice, not genius, that brings out the virtuosos in anything.  The author particularly discusses Mozart as a young child. It turns out he wasn't that impressive--his early "genius" works were quite boring and were just different combinations of pieces from other musicians' works.  The only thing that made Mozart stand out was that he 1) got his 10,000 hours in early, and 2) he had a father that guided him from a very young age, like Tiger Woods and Andre Agassi. (Research has shown that it takes about 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert at anything.)

This brings us back to the point that deliberate, continuous (and many times boring) practice is the way to reach your goals, whether with the piano or any other activity.  I often have students or parents of students that doubt they will ever become really good because they are not geniuses like the greats. Well of course they will never become really good if they shoot themselves in the foot and avoid practice! 

I KNOW practicing is hard and boring.  I go through this battle every day myself, I am no different from my students.  And somedays I lose this battle and end up drinking wine and watching Lifetime movies, having rationalized that I am too drained from the day, or it will bother the neighbors, or I'm too hungry, etc... But on the days that I win the battle and actually sit through my practice session, however boring or unsuccessful it was, I know that I am chipping away toward my goals and feel exhilerated. Sometimes I just force myself to sit at the piano and stare at a sheet of music for 30 minutes even if I don't have the inclination to actually touch the keys with my fingers.  It's really about the concentration, focus and deliberate participation in the activity you are dying to be an expert at. 

You can read the article here:

"Genius: The Modern View"  by David Brooks, an Op-Ed Columnist at the NY Times

Piano Practice a "Cure" for ADHD?

Here is an interesting article about research that shows that brain exercises may reduce ADD and ADHD symptoms in adults:

"Brain Games and Exercise: A Drug-Free Treatment for ADHD?"

It explores a controversial new book by Dr. Amnon Gimpel who suggests that activities in your everyday life can be turned into mental exercises. These exercises can in turn increase dopamine levels in the brain and, since ADHD symptoms may be caused by dopamine deficiency, may lessen the symptoms of adult ADHD.

The concept seems pretty simple when you look at it. If mental exercises increase brain cell growth, that would increase the amount of dopamine produced by the cells and therefore relieve the dopamine deficiency. Games such as chess, juggling, and sudoku are simple ways to exercise the brain in this way. I am sure, however, doing activities that require intense concentration such as piano would have the same effect. With piano, you cannot play without intense focus on reading the notes or trying to remember what notes to press next with your hands. I wouldn't be surprised if studying piano in youth or even as an adult would increase the ability to concentrate. From personal experience, during the times that I practice often I notice I have an increased ability to focus on other tasks such as reading, studying and finishing other work. But when I slack off and don't practice, my brain seems a tad more flustered and unable to just sit down, choose a task and complete it. Just food for thought...